what really matters…

one of my favorite bloggers wrote a post on the after baby body. i have been thinking about this a lot because my body is foreign to me now and i am slowly getting use to it. after the first baby i was 36 and in pretty good shape so my body bounced back pretty quick and all was ok. then i had to have the dreaded c-section with the second baby.  it was emergency and i was told that if they didn’t get him out asap he would not make it. so from that perspective i couldn’t care less that my body was messed up and i would have continual pain in order to save my child’s life. seriously, couldn’t care less!

for the third and final baby this year, i did a repeat c-section in order to have my husband in town for the delivery since he was leaving for tour a week after i was due.  the midwife thought that they could fix some of my pain issues as an added bonus.  it worked, to an extent, and i still seriously couldn’t care that my lower belly looks freakish and scarred. i even have scars left from the tape that they used that i was allergic to, but i really don’t care. the thing that bugs me (sometimes) is that other women make it look so easy about getting back into shape and it is not easy.  these women have nannies or day care and husbands who are around. so i have decided that i am going to be healthy and happy and be proud of my body.  all those perfect bodied moms who are lucky to have an amazing metabolism or a well healing body or time to work out a few times a week, i am happy for you and maybe sometime when the kids are older i will be thinner or more in shape.  for right now, i am just going to eat healthy and learn to love my body and scars for it’s life bringing and life saving ability.

plus… they are totally worth it because they are seriously the cutest kids ever…




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